Penalties

Burty and I had a tanner bet at the beginning of the school year on who’d score the most goals in PE matches that season. As neither of us were prolific scorers, it had been an even bet. Going into the last game before the goalposts came down for the summer term, we were stuck on three goals each and in the perfect showdown scenario we found ourselves on opposing sides.

Burty scored in the first half.

Bastard!

Meaning I was desperate for a goal in the second half.

 

Attacking up the slope on the bottom corner pitch (position X), I cut in from the right wing and chanced my luck with a hit and hope shot from a ridiculous angle. To my delight, it sailed straight over the goalie’s head and into the net.

Yes! Cop that, Burty!

Neither of us scored again. Stuck on four apiece, an impromptu penalty contest was called for as we trooped from the field at the end of the lesson. Three shots each, we agreed. Paul Parker – nearby and aware of the matter’s importance – volunteered to go in goal. That was fine by me. Paul, a Twydall boy, was a friend of long standing and my great football mate. I was confident he’d be fair minded and honest in his goalkeeping and try extra hard to save Burty’s shots. 

Penalty 1: Bugger! I fluffed it. The power was there but I smacked it wide of the post.

Penalty 2: Burty, in his white T shirt, white shorts and ankle socks, scored with a left footed toe poke that skipped across the ground and rested just inside the post. A full sized goal might seem a mile wide to a thirteen year old goalkeeper, but I was less than impressed with Paul’s effort to save it.

Penalty 3: Opting for placement rather than power, I was relieved to see the ball hit the back of the net.

Penalty 4: Burty stepped up and scored again with a feeble shot that bobbled and hopped its way into the same corner. I looked at Paul with great disgust – a full length dive and he was still nowhere near the ball.

Penalty 5: I played safe again, using the Burtenshaw placement technique with a bit of added oomph. That made it 2-2. Now it was down to Burty… and Paul.

Penalty 6: Surprise surprise, Burty did exactly same thing, scoring again to win the penalty contest and our bet. What that idiot Parker was doing floundering around in the middle of the goal, I don’t know.

There was no time for celebration, commiseration, or inquest. Five minutes behind everyone else already, the three of us dashed to the changing rooms.