>>>>gt;>>t;>>>>>>>>Four years seems like a long time when you're eleven years old, but in the blink of an eye it was gone. This is all that's left.

Saturday, 19 October 2013

Dirty Tricks

When I saw Raymond Wright approaching me on the top field my first instinct was to check Brian Lack wasn’t crouched behind me. Many an unsuspecting victim had been toppled over with that trick but no, Brian wasn’t there. Raymond was up to something though and when he wrestled me to the ground and called to a nearby Toni Walters, alarm bells rang loudly.

A fun loving girl of dangerous maturity, Toni didn’t hesitate when Raymond told her to get on top of me. Getting straddled by the class femme fatale might have been the stuff of wet dreams but not with Raymond pinning me down.

‘Gerroff! Gerroff!’


At Raymond’s prompting, Toni laughed and teased as her hands hovered where they shouldn’t. Twisting and turning failed to dislodge her and when I felt my zip opening, I panicked and yelped. In the fight to save my honour I wriggled and bucked in a manner that would have had Mister Potts foaming at the mouth if he’d witnessed the incident from the school building. Toni eventually dismounted and though I escaped with my virtue intact, she’d taken her fun to the limit. Phew!


All classes took turns at doing assembly. The same old formula, usually, with the same old faces recruited from the same old volunteers. Like most of the lads in 2A1 I was happy with the status quo, but Miss Lake made it clear, when informing us we were in line for assembly again, that the usual suspects need not apply. She wanted some new faces. ‘One boy and two girls,’ she said.

The news might have disappointed Richard Pascall and Eddie Adams, whose combined stage credits rivalled Morecambe and Wise, but it was discomforting for the rest of us. With no sand to stick our heads in, we boys stared blankly at the window, the wall and anything but our teacher.

The girls were more willing. Of those eligible, Hilary Austin and Valerie Farrow were quickly chosen, but which boy lucky boy would join them?

‘I’d like Peter or Gerard,’ said Miss Lake.

Bloody hell!

‘I’ll hear you read at dinner time and pick the best. Peter, come and see me at one o’clock, will you? Gerard, I’ll see you after Peter.’

What a choker. Nobody saw that coming, least of all me. Things looked grim until I realised I only had to make a balls of it for Burty to get the job. Suddenly, I felt much better.

I was in the playground when Burty appeared around 1:15.

‘Your turn, she wants you now.’

‘How did you get on?’

‘Alright.’

So far so good; now to put my plan into action, I thought, as toddled off to our classroom.

Oh dear what a shame. I stumbled and fluffed my lines and made a right mess of it, leaving Miss Lake with an easy decision. Immediately after registration, she made an announcement to the class.

‘Gerard will be doing our assembly with Hilary and Valerie.’

What?! How the bloody hell did that happen?

One look at the grinning Burtenshaw told me all I needed to know. The conniving git must have read like a five year old.

On the telly…

The BBC screened The Seekers farewell concert. As Mam had it on the telly there was no getting away from it, but as one familiar song followed another, my indifference faded. Captivated by the voice of Judith Durham, I settled down to watch the rest of the show. It touched me to see her presented with a large bouquet after singing The Carnival is Over and when the show closed with a celebratory rendition of Georgy Girl, I knew I’d seen something special.



Lots of people were talking about The Seekers at school next morning. Girls, mostly, so I kept my mouth shut. Miss Lake had seen the show and so had Miss Bridgen, I learned, when we went for our Maths lesson.

I liked Miss Bridgen but she was way too soft with the likes of Burty and me. Sitting together at the front of the class, we spent most of the lesson buggering about and imitating Titch and Quackers. No wonder I dropped like a stone in Maths.






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