>>>>gt;>>t;>>>>>>>>Four years seems like a long time when you're eleven years old, but in the blink of an eye it was gone. This is all that's left.

Saturday, 15 February 2014

Loose Ends, Myths and Legends

In the changing rooms one year: Steve Clay was getting changed. When asked about the oversized yellow shorts he was putting on, Steve said ‘they’re my brother’s.’ Steve’s brother being Nicholas Clay, formerly of Upbury, who found fame on stage and screen.

On the rugby pitch, possibly 68/69: As a spectator at a Staff v Pupils rugby match I recall Mister Charlesworth and Mister Askew using their hefty backsides to great effect when warding off attempted tackles.

Near the main doors 69/70: I once saw a kid who shall remain nameless (it rhymes with Jamie Montgomery) lying on his belly, letting a teacher’s car tyres down.

On the stage: As part of a presentation of the elements, one class danced wildly to the song Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

On the telly: When Southern Soccer screened recorded highlights of a Gillingham game one Sunday afternoon, sometime around 68/69, the commentator made an amazing blunder, calling Carl Gilbert Ray Bailey throughout the entire game.

The hall: Some spotlights were stolen. When, I can’t recall, but when the theft was announced at assembly I got the impression they’d been mounted high on the windows on the pool side of the hall. While the teachers sat grim faced, I marvelled at how the thieves had got up there.

A story from the rugby pitch, around 67/68: Ron Chadwick, or Chaddy, as he was known to some, was said to be well blessed in the trousers, an asset that contributed to his legendary status after an incident on the rugby pitch. The tale I heard went like this…

“Chadwick’s shorts got ripped and everything was hanging out! He wanted to change his shorts but Mister Charlesworth told him to play on. So Chaddy turns to him with his cock flopping in his hand and says ‘what am I supposed to do with this?’ What a laugh! And there were girls on the touchline too! Mister Charlesworth had to let him go and get changed.”


This picture shows a page in my maths exercise book, from the summer of 69, at the end of my third year. It looks like I was working with a ballpoint pen. As my ink-splashing memories occurred in the lower school, I’m left to wonder; were ballpoint pens the norm in the upper school, or had ink pens been dispensed with by 1969. I really don’t know. And I never did find out what Cyril’s R stood for.


Kes was released at the cinema as I left Upbury. The football match sequence, with the boys in all kinds of odd kit is a wonderful reminder of the times.

Myths and Legends

1 Did someone saw through one of the piano legs before assembly? I don’t know. Sawn or not, Margaret Parish, who remembers the piano collapsing, says it made an enormous noise.

Did Cyril Rye really knock out a yobbo? The story goes that Cyril, who had just blown the whistle to end break time, was standing on the low wall by the entrance that led up to the science lab, when he was challenged by a leather jacketed yobbo who’d casually strolled into school.

 ‘Are you Rye?’ the yobbo asked. When Cyril acknowledged that he was, the yobbo said ‘you caned my brother.’

 If the yobbo was looking for trouble, he found it when our hero hopped off the wall and laid him out with one punch, whereupon he instructed some prefects to carry the intruder off the premises. As far fetched as it sounds, I want to believe it’s true.

3 Did Mister Rye's moustache cover a scar he acquired as a Spitfire pilot? Rumour says yes. (From David Smith, who had Mister Rye as his form teacher at Woodlands Road, in 1950/51.)

4 Did Mister Charlesworth ever wear a kilt? Yes, I saw this for myself. I presumed he had Scottish blood when he turned up one St Andrew’s Day in full ceremonial get up.

5 Mister Berger’s funny walk was attributed to him having some toes missing. Two toes, some said. Others said three. Some claimed he’d lost them all when a plane ran over them during the war. The truth? I don’t know.

6 Was Mister Berger ever trapped under the stage? Yes, says a confidential source.

“The set of steps at the right came out to allow access under the stage, where Mister Berger was building a boat. He was down there one day when someone (they never found out who) pushed the steps back. It must have been done before assembly or something, because we were all lined up when we heard the sound of frantic knocking. When they pulled the steps back, Berger and some very dishevelled boys emerged like they'd just been excavating an Egyptian tomb!”



2 comments:

Unknown said...

You mention Cyril Rye, in1950/1951 I was at Woodlands Road School.
Mr Rye was our form master ( 4a ) and as mentioned very handy with the cane !
He was also infamous for bellowing down the corridor " boy come here " that was generally the signal you were going to get one on each hand , and I assure you it was no little tap .
There was also a rumour that he grew the moustache to cover a scar on his nose that he acquire when he was a Spitfire pilot,if that was true or not is open to conjecture .
During those years I was also made School Captain.
I always felt that Mr Rye was one of my promoters.

Derek Smith

Gerard said...

Hello Derek, thank you for reading and commenting, and filling in a bit of Mister Rye's past. I've not heard the rumour about his 'tache before but I'll gladly add it to the above post. Thank you!