>>>>gt;>>t;>>>>>>>>Four years seems like a long time when you're eleven years old, but in the blink of an eye it was gone. This is all that's left.

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

The Great Choc Ice Robbery

I was now fifteen. In a few weeks I'd be leaving school, but I still didn't know what I’d be doing. Till then I had more important things to worry about like keeping out of John Chivers’s way, Gillingham’s battle against relegation, and wondering if I could pull off a daring raid on The Dewdrop.

The idea of raiding the pub came about by chance. When closing the gate at number 3 Begonia Avenue one night – the last house on my paper round – I decided, on impulse, to nip across the road to The Dewdrop and buy a little treat for the traipse home. 

The Dewdrop had three entrances spread around its wide frontage; lounge to the left, public bar to the right, off sales in the middle. A man was coming out of the off sales as I got there. Though I caught the door before it shut, I cursed my luck when I spotted the backend of a disappearing barmaid, as a long wait for service seemed likely if the pub was busy. After perusing the chocolate bars and crisps in a glass case on the bar, I switched my attention to a fridge near the door and selected a Midnight Surprise choc ice. Two minutes of kicking my heels later, it dawned on me that I needed to activate the bell. Thus, after opening the door a little – Ching-ching – and closing it again, the barmaid appeared.

On the way home I got stuck into my choc ice, a pale green minty ice cream coated in a thin layer of plain chocolate. It was delicious – delicious enough to wish I had another, and how easy it would have been, to have nicked an extra one. The more I thought about it the more appealing the idea got. Good timing was all it needed and with my papers delivered, I had a ready made swag bag. Someone with a bit of nerve could clean out half the fridge, but dare I? Half the fridge, no, but an extra choc ice certainly.

Operation Midnight Surprise was triggered a day or two later when a lone customer entered the off-sales. Outside I waited, loitering to one side of the door. Ching-ching went the chime, as the customer came out and I slipped in before the door closed. As before, I found myself alone and I didn’t mess about when I raised the lid on the fridge. Spotting an open carton of Midnight Surprises, I scooped it up and dropped it in my bag. Then, after activating the door bell to bring the barmaid, I made a token purchase and left. 

Nine choc ices! Bloody hell!

The first was delicious; the second was not. I gave up on the third and threw it away when I suddenly felt sick. The rest got shoved into a hedge at the top of Milsted Road, an act that brought its own misery. My brothers and little sister would have loved such a treat but taking them home was out of the question. Dad had a nose for things that weren’t right and it wasn’t hard to imagine him denouncing me round the lughole. Just thinking about it made me feel worse. Stricken with guilt and on the verge of throwing up, I never wanted to see a Midnight Surprise again.


Gillingham’s cup run ended with 2-1 defeat at Watford. As one of the day’s less glamorous ties there was little media interest in the game but I followed it as best as I could on TV and radio. It seemed the Gills were never in it and the goal they scored, when it came, was only a late consolation. A shame, as the FA Cup had given us a lot of excitement that year and brightened a poor season. Meanwhile, George Best was making history, scoring six times for Manchester United in an 8-2 win at Northampton.


Gillingham’s position in the league looked grim. Relegation to division four seemed likely but Paul and I still had hope. Not enough to bet tuppence on their chances of survival, but enough to keep faith in a team that had driven us to drink. A bottle of cider was a rite of passage and something we bought at Benhams off license on our way to a night match. From a position on the Gordon Road terrace near the Rainham End, we cheered the Gills to victory. The highlight of the game was the bottle of cider, though I did get over exuberant at one point when I clonked the bottom of the bottle as Paul was taking a swig – a piece of tomfoolery that left Paul with a chipped tooth. (Thanks Paul, for jogging my memory about this. Sorry about the tooth.)



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